My Daughter Won’t Sleep in Her Own Bed – a little help, please?

This isn’t one of those advice blogs where I go through a problem, find a solution by asking someone who actually knows what they’re doing, and then shares a simple fix. This is a call for action. A request for help from any parent who might have an answer.

When it came for our daughter to transition from a crib in our bedroom we trained her in less than a week. It was hard but it worked and then, apart from a few ‘sleep regressions’, she stayed in her bed and slept from 8pm to 7am. We all got plenty of sleep.

Now she’s on the way to turning four and every single night she comes into our bed, talks for about an hour, makes a few demands and then goes to sleep. It usually isn’t a restful sleep for any of us thanks to her love of sleeping sideways, above and then below the covers or wanting breakfast well before sunrise.

sleep training, sleep regression, how to sleep train

It’s making us a very tired family. I have to go to work and drink copious amounts of the office coffee, my wife has to keep her cool and be the parent at home, and our daughter often falls asleep in a chair or gets cranky by mid-afternoon.

We’ve tried the old sleep training methods that worked before, but nothing. It’s like she’s become impervious our tricks and is leaving us hopeless. I’m sure that if we really stuck to staying up in the night and returning her to her room until she understands that she might as well stay in bed, it might work. The problem is that we’re just too tired and I can’t face another day of not getting my full four hours. I know it should be longer, but I’ll take anything right now.

So, do you have any advice? Are you in the same boat or have you successfully re-trained your kids to be good sleepers? Help!


  1. Tyler

    October 2, 2019 at 3:31 pm

    I don’t know what advice I have. When one of the kiddos wakes up and crawls into bed with us. We have a 5 minute stay max. We know that if we let them fall asleep then we’ll get stuck in the habit. After the quick cuddle I carry them back and drop them in their bed, tuck them in and say good night (again lol).
    I guess the advice would be.. be consistent. Even if it drains you of all your energy you gotta keep doing it until they somehow mentally understand they have to sleep in their bed? It will hopefully only be temporary? One little slip and then it’s the whole “give an inch an they will take a mile” sort of deal.

    1. jamesrcsmith

      October 2, 2019 at 9:57 pm

      That’s a great tip. Consistency is the only way they/we learn.

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