2018 was a hard year. There were plenty of busy times, family matters, and some real low points. Our journey through the IVF process has been crushingly difficult, and I’ve found more excuses to put myself second or third.

Every time something came up that I thought would be fun, I’d say “no, I should help out at home” or I’d put off doing the things that make me happy to support my wife or relieve her after her full day of taking care of our daughter.

I’ve also been emotionally eating. A lot! I’ve breached the 200 lbs mark that I swore I’d never reach since my descent from 270 lbs down to my usual weight of between 180 – 185 lbs.

At first the weight started to sneak on, then I went full force into a whirlwind of carbs and finished it off with “Well, it’s Christmas”.

Now I don’t feel so great. In fact I feel terrible. Things have to change and January 1st seems like the perfect time. However, unlike most new year’s resolutions, this one is going to stick.

The Resolutions

#1. To take more ‘me’ time.

I’m so lucky to have an incredible wife who has told me on several occasions that I need to do things that make me happy. I just need to actually do them. These include:

• Going for walks and taking lots of photos
• Going to the gym
• Watching the BC Lions
• Actually thinking of things that I like doing but have put aside for so long I’ve forgotten.

#2. Losing weight

This isn’t just a general “I’d like to be more healthy” resolution. I’m going to stop eating to suppress feelings and distract myself from things that are making unhappy. I will actively count my calories and not go above 1,500 – 1,600 kcals per day. I will go to the gym and get in a proper workout 4 times per week. No excuses.

#3 Saying ‘No’

I am too often the first to say yes even when I have no desire to do the favour that puts me out. I’ll give away the things that I really wanted, or decide that my time is less valuable than someone else’s. This has to end. If I don’t want to do something, I’m going to say ‘no’. Of course, I’ll probably phrase it a little more politely, but the ‘no’ is the point. My time is just as valuable as anyone else and I’m not making myself miserable just so someone else can put their feet up. I’m tired too!

My reasons for being selfish aren’t entirely self-centered. To be a better father and husband, I need to be happy, healthy, and balanced. I want to be overflowing with energy, kindness, and love, which I can only give when I’m taking care of myself too.

Who’s with me? What’s your resolution and are you choosing something that’s entirely for you?